I walk malcolm around the block, but the other way around the block this time. Dump two trash bags full of soil and dead plants in the underground bins, find a bundle of painted bamboo, all though it was awfully light for being bamboo, maybe more a kind of reed i’d say, but it looked like bamboo. See a light up in a room above the church making me wonder if someone was living there, it looks pretty cozy. Not entirely as i would expect life to look on a spring night. If i had to place it, it would probably be late 70’s, when the smell of cabbage and student marriage started to wear off. not quite eighties yet, because there was nothing grey about it. around the corner i see a girl jogging towards me, with pink shorts, a little out of character for that time and place. She is gone a second later, i don’t see her pass. but now there is a man in a dark suit. not a business suit, but also not just jeans and a sweater. The door I’m about to pass slams close and i realize that’s where the girl has gone. It’s a ghetto style door, the only entrance like that we have on our block. It always reminds most of Dublin and France. As i move on the man in the suit is passing me and malcolm barks at him. He is scared and tries to shush malcolm away. I pretend to go at malcolm with the sticks i found, half joking but so it makes the man feel better. I go inside.

I dream in professional deformation, it’s weird and great at the same time. My character is chosen at the beginning of my dream, like a video game. I set the rules for things to happen and during the evolution of the story i adjust the rules. not as a cheat code but as a developer of character and game play. I don’t dream simple shooters or logic puzzles, i develop complex simple experiences. They have nuance, emotion and a lot of tender moments. There’s also a great deal of awe, of mind boggling little miracles that i know anyone else will be able to recreate and experience in the some pure form later. When a task is about skill, the perfect button combo or quick trigger skill does not cause a storm of absolute mayhem or hyper shape moving all over. Instead it becomes a field of color, a feeling of awe, of beauty. When the combo is not that perfectly executed, the experience still is there, but maybe the layers that create the beauty are lined up a millimeter or two off from each other. Creating exactly the same experience but in a very different way. When a texture presented does not fit or simply is not to my liking, I pause and replace. not often do i recreate, cause they seem to be all right there to choose from. Two objects move side by side, loose each other and find each other again, ‘cause it is one of the main objectives in this game. They fight a battle not good or bad. Thru these experiences they make new rules, new realities for them selves and when they place their truth represented by simple graphical cliches that were never before designed in such a perfect way, on a weird looking round shaped leaf, and set it off to blow away in he wind, hoping it to go higher, some antagonist returns, at first confused by what the world it helped creating is, cause the antagonist itself has never seen it in such strange light, then moving forward thinking of not thinking, or maybe simply moving in a direction ‘cause that seems to be what antagonists do, and how the idea of refueling, be it a freshly applied patch of code or a representation of orange juice, will help redirecting the game to it’s former level. the leaf stops climbing when a sun comes up and seems to make the world heavier. It lands where the two can see it still, too far away, in the liquid. and they understand that their life is right in front of them and it will never be better. That’s when i wake up and try to write it down. I never get it right tho, last night’s for example had actual money involved, and there was family too at some point and a few very specific buildings. But they make less sense than the part i logically connected, so i’ll stick to writing what i get my head around. maybe tomorrow life will be different.